In my last post, I titled it 'Being Engaged is the Worst.' Well, I wasn't completely kidding. So far it has been super hard on me. I have never felt more temptation and fear from Satan that I have in my entire life. (and not in the way you're probably thinking.)
Long before Kevin and I officially became engaged I knew it was the right thing to do. I prayed, we prayed and I felt so good about it. I felt the spirit, I felt happy, and I felt I was on my way to the happiest life. A little while after we got engaged however, I began having these doubts. I would pray and expect immediate answers and feel darkness and sorrow and confusion. There have been many times where I have been lost and not knowing what I should be doing. I have been having a hard time discerning the spirit of the Lord with Satan's power. Tonight was one of the worst times. I was trying to search for answers and not finding anything. I decided to get on my computer and go to LDS.org. I typed two searches. One was 'prayer' and one was 'satan'. These are the first two talks I clicked on.
All at once my fear and doubt were gone and I felt the true and good spirit. Absolutely everything I needed to hear was in these two talks. Satan does not want families here on earth. From now on I am going to take it as a compliment that he's trying so hard to destroy my future family; because it's going to be amazing. As I go through the final month and a half through my engagement, I will be reading these talks more and more often.
Kevin has been so great. He has never wavered and has been so supportive over my moments of temptation/doubt/fear. I can't wait for October 5th to get here!