Monday, August 20, 2012

Spiritual Post

In my last post, I titled it 'Being Engaged is the Worst.'  Well, I wasn't completely kidding.  So far it has been super hard on me.  I have never felt more temptation and fear from Satan that I have in my entire life.  (and not in the way you're probably thinking.)

Long before Kevin and I officially became engaged I knew it was the right thing to do.  I prayed, we prayed and I felt so good about it.  I felt the spirit, I felt happy, and I felt I was on my way to the happiest life.  A little while after we got engaged however, I began having these doubts.  I would pray and expect immediate answers and feel darkness and sorrow and confusion.  There have been many times where I have been lost and not knowing what I should be doing.  I have been having a hard time discerning the spirit of the Lord with Satan's power.  Tonight was one of the worst times.  I was trying to search for answers and not finding anything. I decided to get on my computer and go to LDS.org.  I typed two searches.  One was 'prayer' and one was 'satan'.  These are the first two talks I clicked on.

 http://www.lds.org/new-era/2012/07/how-to-pray-and-seek-answers?lang=eng&query=answers+prayers

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/03/cast-not-away-therefore-your-confidence?lang=eng


All at once my fear and doubt were gone and I felt the true and good spirit.  Absolutely everything I needed to hear was in these two talks.  Satan does not want families here on earth.  From now on I am going to take it as a compliment that he's trying so hard to destroy my future family; because it's going to be amazing.  As I go through the final month and a half through my engagement, I will be reading these talks more and more often.

Kevin has been so great.  He has never wavered and has been so supportive over my moments of temptation/doubt/fear.  I can't wait for October 5th to get here!

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